Enough is Enough!

At seven months pregnant, I had a black eye and no place to go.  I was tired of arguing and being beaten by my husband.  At the time we were living in Hampton, Virginia.  One day I packed a bag and moved in with my girlfriend Sheila and her husband.  She was so horrified when she saw my face that she took pictures of it.  To this day she still has those pictures and I never ever want to see them.  She said if you ever turn up dead I will have proof of what has been done to you over the years.  I could not stand to look at myself in the mirror so I didn't look.  These are not the memories that a mother should have when she is pregnant with her first child (or any child for that matter!).  I remember one night feeling so so sad that I drove over to the empty mall parking lot and sat there in my car.  If I had a gun that would have been the end of me and my unborn child.  I felt that he did not deserve us.  I never thought that I could feel like I would want to commit suicide but I did...I will never forget that night how my heart felt deep inside if I had a heart at all.  I'm not sure if words can explain how I really felt.  But I say this here today because somebody has been there and somebody is here right now.  This is my testimony to help someone else.  Domestic violence makes us feel like we are alone in the world and no one cares about us.  We are afraid to tell someone because we are embarassed of what others might think so we hide behind the smiles everyday yet our hearts are bleeding hoping that someone notices.  We don't want to leave the relationship...we just hope that he will one day change.  On top of physical abuse, there's verbal and emotional abuse, other women involved and the list goes on and yet we still hope that it will all change.  Then one day we get sick and tired of being sick and tired and stand on our own two feet and say "This is it...Enough is Enough".  I can't take this anymore"  When it comes down to that point...there is no turning back.  When my daughter was born, I looked into my daughter's eyes and realized that I was sending her the wrong message.  This is not okay.  No you should allow anyone to treat you like this.   No this is not "normal".  Whatever "normal" was because I did not know.  God gave me the strength to move on.  Life was no longer the way I once knew it for the past 10 years of my married life but it was time to change...time to let go and let God.  Enough is enough.