God is doing a NEW thing!!!!

There is something good getting ready to happen!  I can feel it!  I'm sitting at the edge of my seat with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.  Many, many blessings have been bestowed upon me and I want to thank God for all of them.  This is a new season and a new day.  Recent founder of a non-profit organization this year called, God's Glorious Girls, Inc. to prevent and intervene teen dating violence in the Greater Hartford area.  God has given me vision for short and long term goals.  We will soon make our first appearance at the Women of Color Expo the weekend of November 13-14th.  My pastor recently appointed me to Assistant Teacher; and, I am now the Minister of Discipleship classes.  There are some committed servants who are doing well and I thank God for them.  There are great things happening everywhere!!!  To God be ALL the glory!!!!!

Trust in God

The past few weeks have been adventurous in the spiritual realm.  There is a move of God in my life that I cannot explain but all I can do is say "Yes, Lord to Your will and to Your way".  The people in my life don't "look" the same...they don't "act" the same.  This may not make any sense what I am saying but God is allowing me to see things in people that I have never experienced before.  All I can do is trust God!  Trust that God is going to protect me in the midst of the storm.  Last night I dreamed about bears.  A bear was pursuing me everywhere I went and if I left the door open the bear would try to come in.   The symbolism of a bear in your dreams is the same as a snake....destructive, evil curse, opposition.  All I can do is thank God for the warning that someone or something negative is out to hurt me but God will not allow them to touch me.  It's important that we listen to God when God is speaking to us.  The methods of communication may not always be the way we think but God is still communicating.  When we're given the warning signs all we can do is TRUST!!!

Give God the Praise!!!

Depression is a serious disease.  Many of us have our share of ups and downs with it every now and then.  Some people think that because I wear a collar that I don't experience bouts of depression from time to time.  Well wrong!  I am here in the flesh like everyone else and I go through life's struggles like everyone else.  I was at my lowest when I wanted to commit suicide.  If I had a gun that night it would have been all over with.  There was no reason for me to be here anymore.   There was no reason for me to live anymore.  I don't know why I felt that way.  I was eight months pregnant sitting in the mall parking lot in Hampton Virginia crying my eyes out wondering why I couldn't function the way others did when they were pregnant.  I didn't understand why the sciatica was so bad that I was practically handicapped.  I felt like no one else around me understood what I was going through.  All the pain I had in my body everyday for as long as I could remember (I don't know maybe 8 years old) and now just getting worse and worse and for what reason.  All my life all I knew was physical pain.   And now I knew emotional and mental pain too.  What was the point in me living?  What was I going to be able to offer my child?  I couldn't do anything but be in pain all the time!  Does anyone know how that felt?  I didn't want to hurt my baby so I thought long and hard about hurting myself.  I think that's what saved me and that is why I'm still here today.  There's a song that reaches down to my soul by Kurt Carr " I Almost Let Go".  Every time I hear it I cry.  It brings me to my knees because "I almost let go and He held me close so I wouldn't let go.  God's mercy kept me so I wouldn't let go."  When I hear those words it always brings me back to that time in the parking lot when I felt my worst and I thank God for saving me, for lifting me, for holding me close, so I couldn't, so I wouldn't let go.
If you haven't been there, then pray that you never get there.  If you have been there, then pray that you never go back there again.  Get professional help.  The church is not enough.  It's the loneliest place in the world to be.   I have dealt with bouts of depression numerous times since then but not to that extent.  I have been on medication.  I have slept, didn't want to get out of bed, wore the same clothes for days at a time, didn't want to bathe, didn't want to eat, didn't want to get dressed, just not function at all but God had mercy on my soul.  The valley is never too low that God can't bring you to the mountaintop and for this I give Him all the praise!

Be still and listen

Some of you have been wondering where I've been lately but I don't move without the direction of the Lord.  It's important that we take time to hear what God is saying to us so if that means being still then let it be so.  I've been listening to God about some very important people in my life.  We have to allow God to use us even at times when we don't think it's necessary.  Who are we to tell God what we think?  God is going to use us anyway.  To make a long story short.  I have one child but God always uses me in the lives of many, many children.  Sometimes I get upset and wonder why I have to do it but I contribute anyway and keep it moving.  Then when I look back over it later I understand.  You know God has a way of using us to His benefit in ways that we never thought possible; in ways that we never thought we would be used; in ways that we didn't think we could be used; in ways that we wonder "Well why is God using me?".  Somebody out there knows what I'm talking about.  Sometimes life just doesn't make any sense but we go along with what God says to do anyway.  So God I surrender to you...I am listening to you...I am being obedient to you...Yes, I know that makes you so happy...like a parent with a child.  I am doing my best.  So when you haven't heard from me now you know why.  I'm being still.  I'm listening.

Listen and Obey

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God".  When I hear that Scripture over and over again in my spirit I must be obedient to God's message.  Just be still because God is trying to tell me something.  The only way I will hear him is to stop what I am doing and listen.  You know when we are so busy doing other things (usually it is something that could wait) we miss what God is trying to say to us.  Sit on the couch, sit on the bed, sit on the floor, sit at the kitchen table....wherever it is just sit down.  Make yourself a prayer closet, a prayer space, a prayer room but take the time to give God time out of your day everyday.  It is the same as when we are talking then we are not listening.   Well if we are moving around then we are not listening either.  God has unsual methods of communicating with us...ways of getting our attention.  We must be open to what that is and what God is saying to us.  We may not always like what God is telling us but we must be obedient.  Be obedient to God's Word.  Be obedient to God's message.  You will be glad you did.

God has blessed you...

When you love someone no matter how much you try to fight it just follow your heart.  The head may try to do one thing but the heart always wins.  God may have placed that person in your life for a reason but you may not be aware of the reason yet.  God has a plan...but remember we make our own plans and God laughs. :)  You may think that it feels too good be true....no such thing because love is not supposed to hurt.  Just take what God has blessed you with and enjoy because if you let it go that blessing may never come around again.  If this love feels right then let is be so.  That is the way God intended it to be.

Good Girlfriends!

It's nice to have a few good girlfriends to call on when you need to talk.  You don't need a lot.  One or two is good.  Girlfriends that you can confide in and you know it is not going anywhere...now that is a true friend.  We all need girlfriends like that.  We can just hang out together have a glass of wine, laugh and tell each other stories, watch movies, and just have a good time.  Sometimes I fall asleep on them when they come to my house for movie night.  But they still love my anyhow (I think :)!  If you don't have anything else, make sure you have some good girlfriends in your life because they will be there until the end.  God Bless!