The Other Side of Through

Since my last posting, the pastor preached "Change is Gonna Come"  I am so thankful to God for the confirmation.  Not only am I getting my physical house in order, but also my spiritual house as well.  Lately, I have been ridding my spirit of all negativities, toxins, bad people, foolishness, or anything else that makes my stomach hurt.  I have a great feeling that God is going to bless in a mighty way and I am ready for what that may be.  Excitement is all over my face and it is running through my veins.  There is much to be thankful for and I just want to be obedient to God's will.  In the areas of Love, Health, Wealth, and Happiness I feel deep down in my soul that there will be major positive changes that will affect me for the rest of my life.  God has seen how long I have suffered so I cannot thank God enough for bringing me to other side of through.  Thank you Lord!!  Hallelujah!!

Change Gone Come

2011 Bring it on!!!  I am so excited to what God is going to do this year.  In the latter part of 2010 into the new year, all I kept hearing was "Get Your House In Order".  Well during my vacation I started doing just that....clearing my house of anything that I don't use anymore.  Cleaning rooms, basement, purging, re-arranging, re-organizing....anything to get my house in order.   It feels really good when I walk in my house to see that everything is right where it needs to be so when God moves there will not be much to do but pack up and exit stage right.  God's Glorious Girls, Inc was founded in April 2010 and God has been blessing that ministry tremendously.  During the holiday break, I started writing my next book, "No Stranger".  It's been a long time coming and I know that Change Gone Come.

Can You Feel It!!

Can you FEEL IT!  Can you FEEL IT!  Can you FEEL IT!  Lately, words cannot express how good I feel.  Physically, emotionally, mentally, I just feel good ALL over.  God has been blessing me!!!  My non-profit organization has been taking off with scheduled workshops into 2011, media exposure, name awareness, new website, volunteers, and so much more.   Thank you Lord for ALL you are doing for me, for my family, for this non-profit, and for all of those whom I love very much.  2011 is going to be a GREAT year and I am looking forward to all that is in store.  To you God be all the honor and glory!!

Be Ready

We have to be careful what we ask of the Lord because then we have to be ready for the answer.  We may ask God to help us make a major decision in our lives and the answer we get may not always be the answer we are looking for.  Depending on what the answer is will require us to do a lot of work on our part.  Now, whether we want to do the work is another story.   We make plans....God laughs.   We ask for help in making decisions...but then not satisfied with the answer.   The point is if you are asking, then BE READY.

God is doing a NEW thing!!!!

There is something good getting ready to happen!  I can feel it!  I'm sitting at the edge of my seat with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.  Many, many blessings have been bestowed upon me and I want to thank God for all of them.  This is a new season and a new day.  Recent founder of a non-profit organization this year called, God's Glorious Girls, Inc. to prevent and intervene teen dating violence in the Greater Hartford area.  God has given me vision for short and long term goals.  We will soon make our first appearance at the Women of Color Expo the weekend of November 13-14th.  My pastor recently appointed me to Assistant Teacher; and, I am now the Minister of Discipleship classes.  There are some committed servants who are doing well and I thank God for them.  There are great things happening everywhere!!!  To God be ALL the glory!!!!!

Trust in God

The past few weeks have been adventurous in the spiritual realm.  There is a move of God in my life that I cannot explain but all I can do is say "Yes, Lord to Your will and to Your way".  The people in my life don't "look" the same...they don't "act" the same.  This may not make any sense what I am saying but God is allowing me to see things in people that I have never experienced before.  All I can do is trust God!  Trust that God is going to protect me in the midst of the storm.  Last night I dreamed about bears.  A bear was pursuing me everywhere I went and if I left the door open the bear would try to come in.   The symbolism of a bear in your dreams is the same as a snake....destructive, evil curse, opposition.  All I can do is thank God for the warning that someone or something negative is out to hurt me but God will not allow them to touch me.  It's important that we listen to God when God is speaking to us.  The methods of communication may not always be the way we think but God is still communicating.  When we're given the warning signs all we can do is TRUST!!!

Give God the Praise!!!

Depression is a serious disease.  Many of us have our share of ups and downs with it every now and then.  Some people think that because I wear a collar that I don't experience bouts of depression from time to time.  Well wrong!  I am here in the flesh like everyone else and I go through life's struggles like everyone else.  I was at my lowest when I wanted to commit suicide.  If I had a gun that night it would have been all over with.  There was no reason for me to be here anymore.   There was no reason for me to live anymore.  I don't know why I felt that way.  I was eight months pregnant sitting in the mall parking lot in Hampton Virginia crying my eyes out wondering why I couldn't function the way others did when they were pregnant.  I didn't understand why the sciatica was so bad that I was practically handicapped.  I felt like no one else around me understood what I was going through.  All the pain I had in my body everyday for as long as I could remember (I don't know maybe 8 years old) and now just getting worse and worse and for what reason.  All my life all I knew was physical pain.   And now I knew emotional and mental pain too.  What was the point in me living?  What was I going to be able to offer my child?  I couldn't do anything but be in pain all the time!  Does anyone know how that felt?  I didn't want to hurt my baby so I thought long and hard about hurting myself.  I think that's what saved me and that is why I'm still here today.  There's a song that reaches down to my soul by Kurt Carr " I Almost Let Go".  Every time I hear it I cry.  It brings me to my knees because "I almost let go and He held me close so I wouldn't let go.  God's mercy kept me so I wouldn't let go."  When I hear those words it always brings me back to that time in the parking lot when I felt my worst and I thank God for saving me, for lifting me, for holding me close, so I couldn't, so I wouldn't let go.
If you haven't been there, then pray that you never get there.  If you have been there, then pray that you never go back there again.  Get professional help.  The church is not enough.  It's the loneliest place in the world to be.   I have dealt with bouts of depression numerous times since then but not to that extent.  I have been on medication.  I have slept, didn't want to get out of bed, wore the same clothes for days at a time, didn't want to bathe, didn't want to eat, didn't want to get dressed, just not function at all but God had mercy on my soul.  The valley is never too low that God can't bring you to the mountaintop and for this I give Him all the praise!